Well, I’m never on Cloud 9 for very long. Or if I am, I’m quickly shot to Cloud 666.

Amy broke up with me today, again. She told me before 2nd period that she needed to talk to me at lunch. So at lunch, I came up to her and said that if you’re going to break up with me, just tell me. She said I won’t break up with you. She then told me that I need some time to myself … not to see other people … (then she took my hand) … I still want to be with you … So I said OK, and walked off … very hurt. I went back to her and said that if you were going to do this, you shouldnt have taken me back in the first place … Mike found me. I guess that she told him she would break up with me way in advance. I was the last to know …

Mike and I confronted her. And I blew up. I mean, totally lost it. I just plainly bitched her out. Even though I love her, I couldn’t stand her at that time. I told her that she shouldn’t have lied to me. Because earlier, I asked her if everything was okay, and she looked me in the eyes and said it was. And when she said I need time to myself, she was lying then, too. Because she knew damn well that she didn’t want to be with me …

After school, I confronted her again. All she could say was I know that what I did was wrong … Then I lost it again, and I told her that I couldn’t believe I fell in love and got fucked over again. We argued some more, and then I left. I slammed the door and took off …

I’m a little calmer now … I’m still very upset, but I don’t think that I’ll blow up any more. I wrote a quite nasty letter to her, and I might give it to her tomorrow. I don’t know.

But once again, I’m going to start doing things my way. I don’t know if I’ve said it in this journal yet, but I still have feelings for Stephanie. And I talked to my best friend Erik. I told him to call Stephanie and give her my number. If she does, I’m in there. Not only will I get back at Amy, I’ll be with Stephanie for the, is it 6th time? Something like that. But we’ll find out…

More later…