I dont know why I’m starting this journal. For years, I have attempted to keep some record of the events of my life. But I have always disregarded it at some point. My hope is that I can continue this particular record for as long as possible, because of the ease of this medium.

I suppose that I write because its hard to find people to talk to. And because when I do talk to people, that means I have to listen to their problems. And many times, I just want to bear my own without listening to the troubles of others. With that said…

Here I am, 10 days from the start of school, and I have once again found myself in the unique position of not accomplishing any of my summer goals. Every year, I set goals for myself and every year, I come up short. I have no car. I have no girlfriend. I am in the same physical shape that I have been for years. Yes, another distressing summer. One thing I find interesting is that I seem to do my best to cut all ties to friends during the summer. Perhaps this is because I like to have my down time. But I think I prefer this method. The only con to it is that I get very lonely sometimes. Especially since I have no significant other to speak of. I have taken some of this sun-covered time to reflect on my past romantic exploits: Cathy, Stephanie, and most recently Michelle and Lindsey. It’s funny. With Cathy and Lindsey, I completely fucked things up. But with Michelle and Stephanie, I wasn’t the problem. That made me feel a little bit better about myself. Since the beginning of the summer, I considered getting back together with Michelle, but I always remained strong. Needless to say, my thoughts on girlfriends are spaced at best. Then there’s Jill, a girl I met last summer when I worked for the city. She was very attracted to me, to say the least. Unfortunately, I was busy with Stephanie and all of her baggage, which I now regret getting involved with in the first place, partly because I was the cause of a great deal of problems for her. That would definitely be one of the things I would take back. Back to Jill: She’s very sexy and attractive in her way. And I know that we would make a great couple. The only thing thats stopping me is I cant get a read on her. We talk on the phone a couple times, and I call her again. But she doesnt return my call for a month. I believe I’m getting to the point where I’ll have our mutual friend Cali set us up. If it isn’t too late. Nervousness is one of my weak points, which is not without reason. I’m glad that I’ve got my friend Erik, or I’d go completely insane. Who knows, I may be on my way there. Just kidding…