From: “Jennifer Van Ort”
To: [email protected]
Subject: Yet another WOW: Good/Bad is up to you-I can only provide honesty!
Date: Mon, 21 May 2001 00:14:40 -0600

Ouch!! (i.e. the Megan comment!) (But I saw this coming – I just didn’t know when)

I never put you through anything, all I did was try to keep up with what you did or didn’t want by being completely open and honest about how I felt.

The new boyfriend is something that has taken the place of the void you left by not wanting to be with me. I first met him at after prom through a friend. He asked me for my number and I gave it to him figuring he would never call me (considering he lives in Greeley) and not having a good excuse not to. He did call me on Sunday and we hit it off but not romantically or anything since I was still waiting on your decision and would have given up anything to be with you. He came up to see me at rehearsal on Tuesday, I told him I wasn’t sure how I felt about him because of everything still between you and I (which I told him about on Sunday). He was okay with that and was willing to wait it out and leave all decision making up to me. When I found out you officially wanted nothing to happen between me and you, I no longer had any reason to push him away. I called him on Wednesday or Thursday to tell him what had happened and we decided to start a relationship, despite my sligthly rebounding position.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this sooner but I had several reasons not to: #1 I didn’t want it to affect your decision about us because he meant nothing to me in the beginning and I wanted you, not him. #2 I didn’t know how serious he was and didn’t know how you would react to my believing some complete stranger had feelings for me. #3 I haven’t had any chance to talk to you in person and e-mail was not my first choice to bring this up considering I knew it would require the explanation I just gave you. #4 Above all I didn’t know if this was safe ground for us to even tred on or if friends doesn’t include discussing relationships for us – I was scared that I would lose you even as a friend if you knew I had to move on and had gotten the oppertunity to.

I honestly didn’t mean any harm by it- it was quite the opposite considering I was trying to prevent hurting anyone. To be quite honest with you, I haven’t told that many people about him and not too many have seen us together, thus I am curious as to who told you or how you found out about

PLEASE don’t be angry with me because I made a point to keep him at a distant until I knew whether my dream of being with you would come true or not. Also, I really have earned the right to finally get over you this time and a boyfriend that will care about me the same way I care about him may be
my only hope, and for once in my life I have that hope – don’t make me feel bad for finally getting what I deserve.

If this has upset you to the point of not wanting to be friends then I am VERY sorry because that was not my intention at all and I’ve explained all that there is. And I still want to be friends more than anything. However, I have been meaning to ask you about something that shocked and appalled me
on Friday night. Jason Michaud was talking to Amanda and I and overheard my venting about you but I refused to use your name. He disappeared for awhile and came back knowing exactly who I was talking about. That seems rather odd to me considering I thought our feelings and what happened between us
was personal and private. However, you were not around to tell him what I was talking about but someone must have – explain that one if you can! (I already have a few assumptions of my own but would like to know the truth.)

Wow life was not meant to be easy between the two of us but I must admit- for some reason, you and your friendship (if nothing else) are well worth the struggle and effort!!

Still being totally honest with you,


Yeah, whatever. All I know is that I am done with this, and with her.