The majority of the day is a blur to me. But today, the tech lead applications were due for the Clumsy Custard show. On mine, I wrote a note to Parker basically saying that I wanted a higher-up position because I had the experience and knowledge to do so. She has always criticized my nature to freak out over little things and take them out on people. So I added that I would promise to be nice to people.
When I went to go turn the app in, she was in her office. I asked her if she had read my note. She said, “yes, but actions speak louder than words.” These words really hurt. Especially coming from a person who I’ve come to respect greatly. If she was questioning my dedication, then it’s a really low blow — I’ve spent hundreds of hours working for her in the theater. All for nothing. And she dares question my loyalty? I always knew she hated me … this just proves it further.
Later, I had a rather lengthy discussion with Megan. Lots of things came pouring out of me like a cheerleader on a battleship. (What the hell am I talking about?) Anyway, we stayed in the Rocky parking lot, in the freezing cold, until about 10ish. I got her in trouble with her parents because she stayed there with me. Oh shit. Too much tension. Exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.