So I’ve been talking with [name omitted] on the phone for the past few nights. We’ve been talking about the possibility of a relationship between us … a conversation we’ve had too often before.

I told her that I wanted to see her. So, after some more talking, she came over. I had been thinking about taking advantage of my unique situation before, but I didn’t think I had the gall to do it.

Anyway, when she came over, we sat together on the couch and watched the movie Jailbait on MTV. We just sat there for a while, and after the movie was over, we started to do stuff. With her, there was never any talking or stuff like that, but it has always scared me.

Eventually, we moved to the bedroom. Things moved pretty fast, but we didn’t have sex. I don’t know whether I would’ve done it or not, because I did my best not to think about it.

After we were done, we talked some more — exchanging horrible moments in our lives. I think it goes without saying, but this wasn’t exactly the best subject for a romantic mood. We started talking about us again. We basically came to the conclusion that we were both too busy for a relationship. This was, as I saw it, easy excuses for a situation that neither of us really wanted, but couldn’t admit to each other.

She left at about 4am. I was pretty tired, but for some reason, I couldn’t go to sleep. So I had some Hot Pockets and watched TV. By about 6, I was ready to collapse — content and confused at the same time (which, if you’ve been following along for the past year, seems to happen to me on a fairly regular basis.)

Sometimes I just don’t know …