To appease those of you on Facebook who have endlessly tagged me with this meme, I present to you 25 random things about me. The facts are free, the snark will cost you…

  1. While I’ve spent nearly my entire life here and identify as a Colorado native, I was not actually born in Colorado. (Real answer: Kansas.)
  2. I have a Bacon number of 3. For those of you who don’t know, the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is a game whereupon any actor/producer/whoever in the film industry can be linked to Kevin Bacon in under six degrees. (Me -> Tales from the Crapper w/ Eli Roth -> Inglourious Basterds w/ Cloris Leachman -> New York, I Love You w/ Kevin Bacon.)
  3. I have never used or tried an illegal drug. I have no particular moral objection to them or those who do; I just don’t like the idea of requiring an artificial influence to enjoy myself.
  4. Although I’m not particularly fond of the color, I have owned three red cars.
  5. I participated in a Daughters of the American Revolution speech contest in fourth grade. I can’t remember what the speech was about … all I do know is that I went about seven minutes over the allotted time. Still got second place.
  6. Most of my friends call me Duckie. This comes from the movie Pretty In Pink and is thanks to Amy. I don’t even turn my head anymore when someone says ‘Chris’.
  7. I have also never smoked a cigarette or any variation of them. I consider this a byproduct of being raised by a family full of smokers.
  8. In front of a crowd of over 500 people, I was once jokingly introduced on stage by my then-boss as the head of our company’s chapter of NAMBLA. Despite this, I continued to work for him for nearly two years afterward.
  9. I have perfect vision and am not allergic to anything. Yeah, you hate me.
  10. I got my first taste of video production in junior high while working on my school’s TV station. We had, for its time, a state-of-the-art facility and I learned editing on a three-screen, two-VTR Panasonic deck. Since then, I’ve done freelance editing, worked on dragon*conTV and worked for a film studio for five years.
  11. I once did some writing for Kevin Smith of Clerks fame. I can’t take credit for the movies, though. Those are genius enough on their own.
  12. I lettered in high school, but not in a sport.
  13. I once did jello shots with Fran Drescher. She’s really quite nice, and doesn’t sound remotely like her characters on TV.
  14. Back To The Future Part II is my favorite film in the series. Not entirely sure why.
  15. I started at a new school in second grade. One kid targeted me for ridicule and it went on for months until I decided that I had had enough. At lunch, I walked up behind him and held a fork to his throat for about 30 seconds until two teachers pulled me off of him. I’m much calmer now.
  16. My cat is named after Detective Lennie Briscoe from Law & Order.
  17. I love Colorado and all, but I hate the cold and I’ve never been skiing. I should probably move somewhere else.
  18. I was nearly expelled during my junior year of high school for a writing I had posted on a website I had at the time, and I probably would have been kicked out had I not threatened to call lawyers at the ACLU (of which I am a member) for violating my freedom of speech.
  19. I started learning webdesign when I was 14. I started charging for it a year later.
  20. My first job was as a dishwasher at a sorority house when I was 15. Not a bad gig, but that’s the closest I ever got to food service.
  21. I suck at Guitar Hero, but I still enjoy it anyway.
  22. I can’t draw to save my life, and I’m also not that good at cooking. I would like to get better at one of these.
  23. I can’t go to sleep without something playing in the background. I find the silence unsettling. DVD commentaries seem to work best.
  24. I really don’t get the obsession that some have with professional sports and find the idea of someone making millions of dollars for knowing how to play one well mortifying. I guess there’s just some things that I’m not meant to understand.
  25. I’m deathly afraid of two things: heights and spiders. If you use this information to your advantage, I may have to kill you out of principle.