Well, I have really fucked up now. When I last wrote, I thought that Amy knew about the events of the party Monday night. But she didn’t… until yesterday morning. She had heard about the party, but she didn’t hear about what I did yesterday. So we broke up. I honestly dont think that I’ve ever hurt this much in my entire life. I can’t function. It’s like part of me is missing, and indeed it is. My heart — she has it. She said that she can’t trust me. And that obviously, I didn’t want this to work out … What can I say? I just lost it. She found out that it was a game late yesterday. She told me that that makes things a lot better. And that she just needed a couple of days to figure things out because she can’t last very long without me.

I thought everything would be okay. Today, things just seemed to get worse. She says that she is very confused, and she doesn’t know who to believe. Many different people have told her many different stories about what happened that night, most of them people I dont even know. And she said that she wants to believe me, but doesn’t… I am falling apart. I told her to take as much time as she needs to figure things out. She’s going to talk to Nicole, Tara, and Rachael tomorrow at lunch. I feel so bad about what happened. I never would have done anything had I thought this was going to happen. But I’ve done and said all I can. All I can do now is pray that we get back together …