Well, things have been going from bad to worse. Mike found out about Amy’s and my feelings for each other. So did Shauna. She took it okay. But Mike is another story. He told Amy and I (through Shauna) that he didn’t want to see or speak to us for a while. Just after school, Shauna gave Amy and I a letter from Mike. He said that he isn’t upset about Amy and I liking each other, but is upset that we didn’t tell him ourselves. He is upset that she “chose Chris over me.” And he said “Chris, we will always be friends, that won’t change, but I don’t think I can be around either of you for a while.” So, needless to say, I feel terrible. Amy feels worse. I don’t know if something can come of this now. But that’s kind of my last concern …

I’ve heard from certain people that Linsey thinks I hate her. In many ways, she may be right. But I don’t. Tara told me that the reason Linsey broke up with me is because “I showed her off.” If I did, I really didn’t notice. (Not that she’s not worth showing off.) I think I’ll write a note to Linsey to let her know what’s going on. I might try to start this again, but that depends on what happens with Amy, and …

I talked to Rachael today after school, and told her that I understood her feelings. I wanted to make sure that her uneasiness had nothing to do with the things that Cathy told her. She said they didn’t. It’s just that she hasn’t dated much, and she wants to get to know me really well, which is cool. The only reason that she asked Cathy about me was that, at the time, she didn’t really know me at all. I told her I feared that even if something worked out between us, she might be bullied into not doing it because of Cathy and Nancy’s (her sister) influences. Rachael said that she has always been a person that never listened to other people. So I think that something could work out there. Time will tell.

Right now, I’m going to concentrate on this thing with Amy/Mike/Shauna, and see what happens. But I do know that I’m not going to feel my best for a little while.